Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Mother Haggard's home remedies, vol 1

When I have a cold I like to perform a Haitian voodoo ceremony – hang a chicken upside down, slit its throat, drink its blood and then dance myself into a wild trance-state where I invite various Loas to possess me and hopefully cure my illness. Sometimes it doesn’t work and if it doesn't, well at least you’ve had chicken ‘soup’, just like my mother used to make for me.

If it does work, the downside is that sometimes you wake up six days later on a bulk carrier heading to Indonesia with another man’s blood all over your torso and the taste of cat in your mouth. Or vice versa.

3 comments:

TimT said...

the downside is that sometimes you wake up six days later on a bulk carrier heading to Indonesia with another man’s blood all over your torso and the taste of cat in your mouth. Or vice versa.

I'm not sure what you mean -

a) A cat all over your torso and the taste of another man's blood in your mouth

b) Another man all over your torso and the taste of cat's blood in your mouth;

c) Cat's blood all over your torso and the taste of a man in your mouth.

Any choice would be rather unnerving!

PetStarr said...

c) sounds like my weekend...

Zoe said...

And there's the boom-tish with a saucy wink already!

Off now to blogroll, etc.