Sunday, July 8, 2007

How to rip off a small business

G'day, Petstarr here with a quick lesson on how to save money, feel self-important and rip off a small business all in a few easy steps.

Step one: Go to your local overpriced yuppie organic food rip off festival farmer's market and find an utterly DELICIOUS lentil salsa.

Step two: Discover that aforementioned lentil salsa from heaven costs $5 a pot.

Step three: Realise that you have a tin of lentils that cost you 60 cents already in your pantry.

Step four: Realise that the list of ingredients of aforementioned lentil salsa of the gods is proudly displayed next to the pot.

Step five: Realise that ingredients required for best lentil salsa in the world are actually really fucking basic.

Step six: Go home and make your own damn lentil salsa that rocks the cazbah.

Step seven: Sit down with a nice Tassie beer and post your recipe on the internet so everyone may enjoy lovely lentils straight from God's lunchbowl.


Mix washed and drained tin of lentils with finely chopped red onion, fresh coriander, a splash of lemon juice and some sweet chilli sauce. Add salt and pepper to taste. The end.


TimT said...

There is a chain of 'pay what you feel the meal is worth' restaurants here in Melbourne called 'Lentil as Anything'. I've eaten there twice, but haven't had the heart to nick off without paying them anything.

Also, bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha !

PetStarr said...

Are you serious? That is the biggest load of hippie crappy wank I have ever heard. Once when I was about 13 I had my palm read at a hippie festival by some guy so stoned out of his mind that he asked for "whatever sort of payment you want to give". Naturally I gave him nothing. My friend, however, felt so guilty that she went and bought him a shitty $30 pewter dragon holding a marble as some sort of mystic offering. He just muttered thanks and put it in his backpack. She wasn't impressed.

redcap said...

Anyone chargine $5 for a bowl of lentil anything needs a boot in the head. They're lentils, man. It's like charging $12 a kilo for zucchini.

PetStarr said...

Except dahl, redcap. Dahl is worth $5. Especially if it's from Jasmin in Hindmarsh Sq. Ohhhh yeahhhhh.

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