The APEC Drinking Game

It's APEC time, and you know what that means - protesters, police baton charges, fulminating pundits, increased threat of terrorist attack and world leaders wearing floral jackets. If you find it all a bit too much to handle, the APEC Drinking Game might be for you.

You will need: functioning liver, things to drink, access to a range of corporate media.

The rules are quite simple: whenever one of the following things happens, you take the appropriate drink. Please note that vomiting is not only allowed but is actively encouraged.

• Newspaper headline includes one or more of the following words: "SHAME"; "ANGER"; "FURY"; "UNAUSTRALIAN": drink shot of vodka. If headline includes exclamation mark, drink a further shot.
• Andrew Bolt has apoplectic fit: drink two large gulps of beer or wine.
• Awkward on-camera conversation between John Howard and any Asian leader: take a swig of whiskey or other hard spirit.
  
• Phalli at the ready!: drink your choice of cocktail.
• Morris Iemma looks stern: drink five raw eggs.
• Protester wearing Che Guevara t-shirt: drink a six pack of Jack Daniels and Coke.
  
• Reporter uses phrase "plastic cups of urine": drink plastic cup of urine.
• Riot police remove or cover name badges: poke tequila worm up left nostril.
• World leaders pose for group photo wearing ridiculous "cultural" jackets: drink the little bit of sick that has come into your mouth.
• John Howard baffles assembled leaders with cricket references: skol fifty-two cans of VB.
• Dirty bomb: drink everything you can lay your hands on.
  

Cross-posted at Sterne.