Wednesday, September 5, 2007

The APEC Drinking Game

It's APEC time, and you know what that means - protesters, police baton charges, fulminating pundits, increased threat of terrorist attack and world leaders wearing floral jackets. If you find it all a bit too much to handle, the APEC Drinking Game might be for you.

You will need: functioning liver, things to drink, access to a range of corporate media.

The rules are quite simple: whenever one of the following things happens, you take the appropriate drink. Please note that vomiting is not only allowed but is actively encouraged.
  • Newspaper headline includes one or more of the following words: "SHAME"; "ANGER"; "FURY"; "UNAUSTRALIAN": drink shot of vodka. If headline includes exclamation mark, drink a further shot.
  • Andrew Bolt has apoplectic fit: drink two large gulps of beer or wine.
  • Awkward on-camera conversation between John Howard and any Asian leader: take a swig of whiskey or other hard spirit.
  • Phalli at the ready!: drink your choice of cocktail.
  • Morris Iemma looks stern: drink five raw eggs.
  • Protester wearing Che Guevara t-shirt: drink a six pack of Jack Daniels and Coke.
  • Reporter uses phrase "plastic cups of urine": drink plastic cup of urine.
  • Riot police remove or cover name badges: poke tequila worm up left nostril.
  • World leaders pose for group photo wearing ridiculous "cultural" jackets: drink the little bit of sick that has come into your mouth.
  • John Howard baffles assembled leaders with cricket references: skol fifty-two cans of VB.
  • Dirty bomb: drink everything you can lay your hands on.


Cross-posted at Sterne.

11 comments:

Ampersand Duck said...

APEC National Dress photo turns out to be khaki 'Australia zoo' shirts: hit the person next to you over the head with a bottle. Any bottle.

redcap said...

Oh shit. I was just forced to drink three plastic cups of urine and three dozen raw eggs. Thanks for that.

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