War. Famine. Death. Pestilence. Adidas.

Bugger the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
I know the end of the world is nigh.
I know this, because there's a girl in the office today who has made the decision that it's okay to wear tracksuit pants to work.

Sulphur will rain from the sky. Oceans will boil. And slobs will bring their lack of self-respect to the office in polyester-cotton form.

Honestly.

How to rip off a small business

G'day, Petstarr here with a quick lesson on how to save money, feel self-important and rip off a small business all in a few easy steps.

Step one: Go to your local overpriced yuppie organic food rip off festival farmer's market and find an utterly DELICIOUS lentil salsa.

Step two: Discover that aforementioned lentil salsa from heaven costs $5 a pot.

Step three: Realise that you have a tin of lentils that cost you 60 cents already in your pantry.

Step four: Realise that the list of ingredients of aforementioned lentil salsa of the gods is proudly displayed next to the pot.

Step five: Realise that ingredients required for best lentil salsa in the world are actually really fucking basic.

Step six: Go home and make your own damn lentil salsa that rocks the cazbah.

Step seven: Sit down with a nice Tassie beer and post your recipe on the internet so everyone may enjoy lovely lentils straight from God's lunchbowl.

LENTIL SALA OF THE GODS

Mix washed and drained tin of lentils with finely chopped red onion, fresh coriander, a splash of lemon juice and some sweet chilli sauce. Add salt and pepper to taste. The end.