Harderned criminals just don't phone home like they used to

From the Sydney Morning Herald:

"Police said they suspect Munis, an avid hunter [who shot his wife with a sniper rifle], could be hiding in the vast, rugged wilderness regions to the west of the city.

Captain Jeff Schulz of the Cheyenne Police Department said police had received no contact from him since the killing."

That's outrageous! Everybody knows the core skill of a great homicide detective is waiting by the phone for the perpetrator to ring.

"Hi, it's me. Yeah, I shot her. No, I don't regret it. Um, OK, I guess, they say it'll be about 28 degrees with a chance of light rain. Yeah, well, the farmer's'll be happy at least. I'm sleeping rough in a ditch, cradling my M-16 and communing with the vengeful spirit of my dead wife so I'm not so crazy about precipitation. OK, same time tomorrow?"

In the news

Bush regains powers after colonoscopy is the headline.

But whose colonoscopy?

I'm guessing that either:

(1) the Supreme Court examined one or more Guantanmo detainees very closely before reestablishing Bush's ability to suspend habeas corpus... or

(2) President Bush is actually Superman and somebody lodged a chunk of kryptonite where the sun don't shine.

A mailed fist in a velvet glove holding a brick

From today's Sydney Morning Herald about Gen. Musharraf's assault on the rebellious Red Mosque:

"He has had to enforce, brutally, his policy of enlightened moderation."

They also used to say of Hitler that:

"He came to enjoy implementing his policy of invasion and genocide in a light, almost whimsical fashion and with an all-pervading sense of fun. He was, above it all, a good sport."